Four Sources of Marital Conflict

For the next four posts, I'm going to blog about marriage - particular the things that really mess up our relationships.
The worst aspect of marital conflict is that it pits husband and wives as enemies. When in the midst of an argument, the thinking changes from "I love you" to "it's me against you!" No longer do we care about the other person's personal growth, but our "personal victory."

So what do we find ourselves fighting over? Here's the first of four:

Our faults and frailties. Guess what? . . . we're not perfect. Everyone's got imperfections. Usually, they're based on the weaknesses of our personalities. One spouse is quiet and the other one is outgoing. At first, during the courting days, you may have loved that trait. Now that very trait that once attracted her to you has become egregious.

On the other hand, your quietness may now bother your spouse. She wants you to talk more. Here's the kicker: Neither one of you're wrong. You're both different people with different personality traits. Get used to it! You can learn from one another: one can learn to talk and express himself more and the other might need to talk a little less and learn to listen.

Sure, you can gently point out to your mate that when she talks too much, you don't feel you have a chance to contribute to the conversation. But your mate also may need to ask you to share what's in your heart, instead of being so quiet.