Let it go - it's hard but necessary at times
Letting go- it can be heart wrenching in the short term, awful to bear still in the long term, but...maybe? Ultimately freeing in the end. Letting go of hurts, of anger, or of the agony living sometimes deepest in our hearts is difficult. Surely so many friends and relatives of the passengers of Air France flight 447, that has so shockingly hit our newscasts, are living in sorrow right now, and sadly facing the daunting task of learning to let go of some portion of the lives they've known.
Whether it's the loss of a parent, or child, whether you've been recently laid off from a company you invested decades of yourself in, or maybe you're experiencing the loss of a relationship that was supposed to be "forever", you can let go. Letting go doesn't mean abandoning all that was a part of the life you need to let go of; rather, the life you have today.
Getting to that step can be done, and just like those habits we've talked about creating recently, by steps you take inside yourself day by day. From O magazine, Martha Beck shares her advice on how to free yourself from clinging to what used to be, what won't be anymore, or perhaps, never was, except in your own heart.
Step 1: Be still.
If we hold still long enough, we begin to feel what we really feel and to know what we really know—a prospect so terrifying that some people bolt rather than face it.
If you can do this—get used to sitting still until you feel what you feel and know what you know—your labels will start peeling away like onion skins. Oh, it won't be easy. Your anxieties and neuroses will come yammering out of the walls like the Hounds of Hell. You'll find that your mental demons have less staying power than you thought. Eventually you will begin to sense a very deep self that defies all labels, a calm soul who has experienced your whole life.
Step 2: Become the experiencer, not the experience.


All great wisdom traditions point to the knowledge that the essence of our true selves is not any fixed label but the capacity to experience. 

Recognize labels that we sometimes place on ourselves: I'm a loser because I was fired. I'm not worth anything because my spouse doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I have lost everything, because I lost..." Or maybe it's the labels that seem to be so positive that, instead, hold us in place: "I'm a powerful executive." Take your label; now repeat it, but instead of saying "I am a big fat loser" or "I am a powerful executive," say "I am one who calls myself a big fat loser" or "I am one who calls myself a powerful executive." This wording may feel a bit awkward, but (1) it happens to be true, and (2) it helps you detach from both negative and positive labels.
Step 3: Practice truth in labeling.

Our belief in labels, not the labels themselves, is what gives them the power to influence our behavior. Knowing how to let go of any given identity without losing our essential selves yields a security we'll never get from fame, power, money, beauty, or any other personality prop.
By stilling our bodies and minds, becoming the One Who Experiences, and playing with labels the way we might play with costumes, we can remain ourselves no matter what happens: loss or gain, pain or pleasure, fame or disrepute.
It's emotional freedom, and we all can experience it, without losing who we are.
Whether it's the loss of a parent, or child, whether you've been recently laid off from a company you invested decades of yourself in, or maybe you're experiencing the loss of a relationship that was supposed to be "forever", you can let go. Letting go doesn't mean abandoning all that was a part of the life you need to let go of; rather, the life you have today.
Getting to that step can be done, and just like those habits we've talked about creating recently, by steps you take inside yourself day by day. From O magazine, Martha Beck shares her advice on how to free yourself from clinging to what used to be, what won't be anymore, or perhaps, never was, except in your own heart.
Step 1: Be still.
If we hold still long enough, we begin to feel what we really feel and to know what we really know—a prospect so terrifying that some people bolt rather than face it.
If you can do this—get used to sitting still until you feel what you feel and know what you know—your labels will start peeling away like onion skins. Oh, it won't be easy. Your anxieties and neuroses will come yammering out of the walls like the Hounds of Hell. You'll find that your mental demons have less staying power than you thought. Eventually you will begin to sense a very deep self that defies all labels, a calm soul who has experienced your whole life.
Step 2: Become the experiencer, not the experience.


All great wisdom traditions point to the knowledge that the essence of our true selves is not any fixed label but the capacity to experience. 

Recognize labels that we sometimes place on ourselves: I'm a loser because I was fired. I'm not worth anything because my spouse doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I have lost everything, because I lost..." Or maybe it's the labels that seem to be so positive that, instead, hold us in place: "I'm a powerful executive." Take your label; now repeat it, but instead of saying "I am a big fat loser" or "I am a powerful executive," say "I am one who calls myself a big fat loser" or "I am one who calls myself a powerful executive." This wording may feel a bit awkward, but (1) it happens to be true, and (2) it helps you detach from both negative and positive labels.
Step 3: Practice truth in labeling.

Our belief in labels, not the labels themselves, is what gives them the power to influence our behavior. Knowing how to let go of any given identity without losing our essential selves yields a security we'll never get from fame, power, money, beauty, or any other personality prop.
By stilling our bodies and minds, becoming the One Who Experiences, and playing with labels the way we might play with costumes, we can remain ourselves no matter what happens: loss or gain, pain or pleasure, fame or disrepute.
It's emotional freedom, and we all can experience it, without losing who we are.
posted by Chad at
8:22 PM
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